This week's reading focused on a couple different things. First, there was physical intimacy within marriage, and how it should be viewed (especially within the church). Then, there was infidelity, and the different types of it. What I would like to focus on this blog, is how infidelity comes to happen, and what to do to avoid it.
"Fidelity includes refraining from physical contact—but that is not all.
Fidelity also means complete commitment, trust, and respect between
husband and wife. Inappropriate interactions with another person can
erode fidelity." (Kenneth W. Matheson, Fidelity in Marriage: It’s More Than You Think)
What kinds of infidelity are out there? Well there's sexual and physical infidelity where you give your body to another who is not your spouse. However, that's not the only way and only time a spouse "cheats" on the other. There is emotional and spiritual infidelity. Emotional infidelity is when your emotions and your thoughts focus on someone who isn't your spouse.
"Emotional infidelity doesn’t usually happen suddenly; rather, it occurs
gradually—often imperceptibly at first. This is one reason why those
involved often feel innocent of any wrongdoing." (Kenneth W. Matheson, Fidelity in Marriage: It’s More Than You Think)
Because it's so gradual and begins innocent, it is important that we avoid the situations that can lead to harming our marriage. Here's a suggestion of something my husband and I do that I encourage for every couple:
-At the beginning our marriage, we agreed to avoid finding ourselves alone with someone of the opposite gender. No giving rides to them if they aren't accompanied by anyone else if it can be helped.
-One other thing we agreed on is to give each other the passwords for all of our accounts (emails and Facebook). This one mostly came from what happened in the marriage of my in-laws. My mother-in-law got a Facebook account and started communicating and private messaging someone who she went to high school with in the past. She started confiding in him and complaining to him about her marriage. Whenever my father-in-law walked into the room while she was doing so, she immediately switched pages so that he couldn't see what she was doing. Eventually they got divorced, and so in order to avoid following in his parent's steps, we found it important to never keep secrets from one another and so having each other know the passwords, we're less likely to try to communicate with someone in secret like that.
If we never find ourselves alone and bonding with another who isn't our spouse, or communicating privately with them without our spouse's knowledge, then emotional infidelity is a lot easier to avoid. I suggest that you be aware of when you find yourself
-Forming a bond with someone of the opposite gender who isn't your spouse
-Starting to confide in this person more than your spouse
-Complain to that person about your marriage
-Compare your spouse to that individual and wish they were more like them
-Become more emotionally connected to the person and thinking of them more than your spouse
No comments:
Post a Comment